About a week ago I noticed the tale-tell signs of an unwanted house guest.
When I opened the cabinet underneath our bathroom sink, I noticed the leavings of a creature small in stature and devious of character. I was able to judge his qualities by his utter disregard to our hygiene evidenced by leavings of a fecal kind and the way our toilet paper stash had been torn asunder. And so began my mission to evict this foul, destructive creature as quickly and peacefully as possible.
I did not see him but I assume he looked like this…but meaner
This isn’t the first time I’ve encountered one of these devilish rodents. I became acquainted with the common house mouse about six or seven years ago while living with one of my exes. We noticed that our animals, an orange tabby and a border terrier, were living in terror of something unseen in our kitchen. After further investigation, we discovered a tiny, brown, harmless-looking creature hiding behind our refrigerator. Not having dealt with a situation like this before, we did a little research and started gathering supplies to help hasten its demise. Full of fantastic sources, the internet instructed us pick up old-school snapping mouse traps, set them with peanuts covered in peanut butter (they REALLY like legumes, I guess), and wait for the trap to be sprung. From our terrified post in the living room mere minutes after setting it up, we were able to hear the loud *SNAP* of the death device. Unfortunately, we learned that day that those traps don’t always kill their prey and so after a bit of a struggle between ex and mouse that ended in the creature being smashed by a shovel, I learned I definitely did not wish to ever again have to deal with something of this nature.
Now, it may sound a bit sexist but one of the perks of having a male roommate is that he gets to do the dirty work while I cook, clean, and generally keep the house in a viable state. This leaves things like the garbage and “mouse” work to be done by him. I like to think it’s a fair deal. This time around, we (as in male roommate) decided to use the slightly more humane of the critter killing contraptions, the sticky trap.
I was certain this type of trap was not going to work. I mean, I could totally get out of a sticky trap if I wanted to, right??
Two were baited with smoked Gouda and placed about the house in hopes to capture this home-wrecker before any more damage could be done to our toilet paper or, God forbid, our kitchen dry goods. One day later, lo and behold, a little mouse was sure enough stuck to the trap! Fantastic news right? Yes and no. Once you’ve managed to capture said creature, you have to find some way of disposing of him. This is made more difficult due to the fact that he is still alive and uninjured.
From the safety of my bed, I shouted helpful instructions to my roommate. Things like “Don’t let it bite you or you might get rabies! Don’t worry though, you’d live but you might lose some mental capacity!” and “You’ve got to kill it or it will return and haunt us!”. He was not impressed and swiftly requested that I no longer offer verbal assistance so I instead I quietly waited for him to return and inform me of its annihilation.
What I am going to tell you next is gruesome so if the harming of black plague carrying rodents is likely to offend, please stop reading now. I do not condone the harming of defenseless animals in any way. This merely a record on one clueless girls mouse eviction and I reserve the right to protect my own and home.
A sweaty, visibly shaken roomie finally pops his head into my bedroom doorway fifteen minutes later ready to inform me of our guests’ termination. Terrified by my talk of rabies, he had thrown the mouse, trap and all, into a grocer bag and then another trash bag and quickly took him outside. Knowing that he had to kill the creature but unwilling to be a physical witness to the death, he placed the bags beneath his rear vehicle tire and, in what I like to think was a swift act of mercy, ran him over. He then grabbed the bags, drove a mile down the road and discarded somewhere NOT right next to our home as he’d originally suggested be done.
Don’t you feel sad for our little expired house mouse. He had a good run but his time had run out and I’m sure he’s passed over to little mouse heaven.
As for me, it feels like a weight has been lifted. I’m absolutely ecstatic that our home is mouse free again and bound and determined it shall stay that way from here on out.
Trust me, there are few things more disgusting than creature poo.